Lovefool

I’ve been corrupted

I see through black eyes

My innocence was lost long ago

I have no more allies

You’re obsessed

You want it to stop

It’s not real

But it’s all I’ve got

If you pretend

I’ll get more than I deserve

It’s not what I dreamed

It will have to be enough

Just pretend

Make it real

Say it again

Until I believe

It won’t work

But I have to try

Then I’ll be gone

Then I’ll be alright

Re-Arranged

I could never stop it

It was always hiding in the deep

Slowly consuming me

Please come close

Fall quickly

And wash the pain away

It’s already at the surface

I see it

And I know what I’ve become

Please come close

Fall quickly

And wash the shame away

It continues to putrefy

Rotting my insides

I’ve been unmade

Please come close

Fall quickly

And wash the hate away

Soon I will not heal

There will be nothing left

The time is near

Please come close

Please

Please

Just close your eyes

Every time I get a glimpse of it

I see beauty

I see happiness

And all the rainbow-covered wonderfulness of what could be

Just barely out of reach

It creates a hunger in me

An unexpected eagerness to live

It’s only a glimpse

An obsession that takes root in the deep

Until one true fact becomes clear

I will only ever look and never have

I remember why I keep closing my eyes

Always wanting it

Never wanting to want it

Forever yours

In no way mine

Naive

I keep coming back to you

It may seem inevitable

I could stop

I could leave

It’s a wonderful kind of agony

Relieving ice on burning flesh

The sweet sound of nothingness

A strong hunger beckoning

It is done by my design

I seek you out actively

You will always pull me down

For I have made you my gravity

The ice will only come

If flesh continues to burn

I can stop

I just don’t want to

Dream state

The nightmares I can deal with

They are a dreadful torment

They end as soon as I wake

It’s the good dreams that kill me

The ones that make it simple

The ones that make me forget

Filled with courage

Filled with sight

Becoming real danger when I open my eyes

And so I do

With a thousand times more pain

Than I ever felt when I was awake

They make me hopeful

They make me yearn

They make me want to end it all

No hope

No pain

No dream

No breath

Say

They are strong words

Loud whispers in my ear

Lovely tingles on my skin

But words betray

Nothing ever tasted so sweet

As to fill me with wishes

Of never ending moments

And constant daydreams

Devilishly tempting

I almost agree

At some point I remember

They don’t mean a thing

Please wait

Please stay

Please walk away

So I never see you again

Enlighten me

It’s funny

I always thought I was searching for you

Never imagined you’d be looking for me

Somehow that comforts me now

The knowledge that my efforts

Are forever worthless

Don’t look for me

I won’t be there

I’m already lost

Don’t be sorry

Don’t feel guilt

I wanted to find you too

And now I am free