domingo, 27 de abril de 2014

Just close your eyes

Every time I get a glimpse of it
I see beauty
I see happiness
And all the rainbow-covered wonderfulness of what could be
Just barely out of reach
It creates a hunger in me
An unexpected eagerness to live
It’s only a glimpse
An obsession that takes root in the deep
Until one true fact becomes clear
I will only ever look and never have
I remember why I keep closing my eyes
Always wanting it
Never wanting to want it
Forever yours
In no way mine

domingo, 20 de abril de 2014

Naive

I keep coming back to you
It may seem inevitable
I could stop
I could leave

It’s a wonderful kind of agony
Relieving ice on burning flesh
The sweet sound of nothingness
A strong hunger beckoning

It is done by my design
I seek you out actively
You will always pull me down
For I have made you my gravity

The ice will only come
If flesh continues to burn
I can stop
I just don’t want to

jueves, 17 de abril de 2014

Dream state

The nightmares I can deal with
They are a dreadful torment
They end as soon as I wake

It’s the good dreams that kill me
The ones that make it simple
The ones that make me forget

Filled with courage
Filled with sight
Becoming real danger when I open my eyes

And so I do
With a thousand times more pain
Than I ever felt when I was awake

They make me hopeful
They make me yearn
They make me want to end it all

No hope
No pain
No dream
No breath

martes, 15 de abril de 2014

Say

They are strong words
Loud whispers in my ear
Lovely tingles on my skin
But words betray

Nothing ever tasted so sweet
As to fill me with wishes
Of never ending moments
And constant daydreams

Devilishly tempting
I almost agree
At some point I remember
They don’t mean a thing

Please wait
Please stay
Please walk away
So I never see you again

Enlighten me

It’s funny
I always thought I was searching for you
Never imagined you’d be looking for me

Somehow that comforts me now
The knowledge that my efforts
Are forever worthless

Don’t look for me
I won’t be there
I’m already lost

Don’t be sorry
Don’t feel guilt
I wanted to find you too
And now I am free

viernes, 11 de abril de 2014

Walk the Line

The road makes me wary
The ever changing obstacles that arise
Showing me that every step
Can always be worse than the one before

I find very few things that give me comfort
Small victories that are meant to give me strength
Help me get through each day
But they don’t, not really

I walk because I have no choice
My haunting past I cannot change
Standing still only leaves me empty
The road untaken is all I have left

The inevitability of it kills me
I can never get what I want
I can never get what I need
All I can do is walk

domingo, 6 de abril de 2014

Count to 10

It awakened something in me
I tried to stop it
I almost did
Until you looked at me

We knew it was wrong
I should’ve stayed away
But you took me in your arms
And we swayed

“It’s timing” you said
We both know it wasn’t
A small lie we shared
To keep the truth at bay

The truth about your intentions
The truth about my belief
That you’ll never get
What you want from me

The night has come
And we are nothing more
Than pending conversations
And unspoken words

sábado, 5 de abril de 2014

Quiet, now

I keep secrets
It’s my nature

I hear what they say
What you say
What I say
And lock it all away

It’s not ideal
I am safe for it
I am unloved because of it
But I cannot change

Not now
Life is tolerable
When you don’t trust it
It’s unhealthy
And wise

One day it will change
There are too many enemies now
There’s not enough room
To set my feelings free

That day will come
Before I leave this world
When I open my hand
And all my secrets
Will pour out

Iris

“No one wants you”
I used to think that meant my family
That they could make do without me
I could just leave

After a while
I thought it meant everyone else
Strangers and friends
I am inconsequential

Now I think it’s about love
And how I don’t deserve it
Who could ever want
Someone like me?

I hope one day to understand
It’s about me
So that I may look in the mirror
And our eyes can find peace

miércoles, 2 de abril de 2014

Just one bite

There’s a part of me that’s broken
It affects the way I think
The way I act
The way I feel

I don’t hate them
Not really
I wish I did
It would be so much easier than hating myself

For not fighting back
For letting them in
For letting myself darken
And be filled with shame and fear

I wait for time to cleanse me
But it still won’t heal
I don’t know who I am without them
And that scares me

Maybe I like the broken pieces
It gives me a reason to dread
A reason to stay safe
A way to remain