Just one bite

There’s a part of me that’s broken

It affects the way I think

The way I act

The way I feel

I don’t hate them

Not really

I wish I did

It would be so much easier than hating myself

For not fighting back

For letting them in

For letting myself darken

And be filled with shame and fear

I wait for time to cleanse me

But it still won’t heal

I don’t know who I am without them

And that scares me

Maybe I like the broken pieces

It gives me a reason to dread

A reason to stay safe

A way to remain

Kansas

I wish I could go back

I can recreate the settings

Surround myself with everything I once knew

When the world was yours

I miss the nothingness

The simplicity of my ignorance

It wasn’t perfect

Reality never is

That world held only one fear

It was strong

And I was defenseless

But it was one

The world is no longer yours

Only I am

For this I fear you

And how easily you break me

I know I can’t go back

I have to face what this world holds

The fear of you

The change in me

Go back

It was normal

She thought she knew all about it

She thought she could handle it

She was wrong

Like the thump of pulsating flesh

It can’t be controlled

It can’t be stopped

She reaches out

And it does nothing but burn

The stench is unbearable

She tries to turn away

But the rotting smell surrounds her

She fights her way out

Through the unsteady ground

Over the glass stabbing her bare feet

Until the raindrops take over

The sound of gushing wind takes over

She thinks she made it

It must be over

Wait

It’s not

The stench is still there

It will never leave her

This time it stays here

Small Sparks

The different pieces blend together

However opposite they may be

They find a way to keep me whole

With so many cracks in between

I never understood it

As much as I tried

As much as I wished for it

It was never made for me to comprehend

Seeing through it was easy

It’s just enough to get by

A small sense of what lies beneath

Of what is seen outside

The blurry parts are trouble

The smudges on the glass

I know they hold the truth

And yet I cannot pass

My Unknown

I fall at once

You make it so easy

It feels natural

Like blinking

I make it difficult

But you stay

I push you away

But you fight anyway

You fight for me

You are patient

You are strong

Your are kind to me

I know you’re not real

I like to believe you are

We just haven’t met yet

But we will

The possibility of you

Gives me hope

Something I can hold on to

Before I have to let go

Can’t Stop

You say it

Like it doesn’t matter

It was bad before

You say it’s not bad anymore

You say it

Over and over again

You say it so many times

It’s become a game

You say it

Like you don’t feel it

Keep it hidden

Until it doesn’t exist

No one can see

What you can’t see for yourself

So you think you’re safe

You’re wrong

It will never leave you

It will never stop hurting

Pretend all you want

You can’t make it stop

It still haunts you

It’s always near

It makes you shiver

It makes you ill

You say it

There’s no other way

To try to erase it

To make it go away

Glowing lights

There’s something about it

It seems perfectly normal

And yet something’s off

You can’t quite see it

There are no red roses

No pink skies

No blue moonlight

Everything is the same

So why is it so different?

Something shifted

The world is the same

It’s you who’s changed

It’s a strange feeling

Of fulfilling content

Extremely unexpected

But welcomed all the same